Husband Wife Jokes

Husband: Today is Sunday and I have to enjoy it.
So i bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why 3?
Husband: 4u and your parents.


An Airline Introduced
A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife’s Ticket Free..
After Great Success,
The Company Sent Letters to All The Wives
Asking How Was The Trip.
Which Trip ?


Man: is there any medicine for long life?
Doctor: get married
man: will it help?
Doc: no, but it will avoid such thoughts


Wife pointing at a couple next door says to her husband:
Look at him he kisses her all the time, can’t u do that?

Husband : I tried but she slapped me.


What is the best example of ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity?

A Mosquito lands on your wife’s face,
& u get the rarest opportunity of your life..

Never miss it!! ;)

Husband: can u be the moon of my life?

Wife: Awww Yes sweetheart..!
Husband: Great! then….
Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!


A man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for there anniversary
and then his wife didn’t speak to him for 6 months.
Was the neclace fake?
No. that was deal..!!

Position of a husband is just like a Split AC…
No matter how loud he is outdoor,
He is designed to remain silent indoor! :P :D

Wife: Im not feeling well..
Husband: Ohhoo I was thinking to go for a dinner!!
Wife: I was joking dear..
Husband: Me too,

A failed Businessman to his Fat wife:
You are my Single Investment in my Life
that has Doubled :D

Height of misunderstanding:
A man marrying his own secretary thinking that
she will still follow his orders as before!!

Only 2 things Can Change a women’s Mood..
1) I Love You.
2) 50% Discount!

Husband asks:
Do you know the meaning of WIFE.
It means.. Without Information Fighting Every time!
WIFE says No, it means:
With Idiot for Ever
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..


There are 2 theories on arguing with a woman!!!
If the woman is right,
be fair to her & keep quiet.
If the woman is wrong,
be fair to yourself & keep quiet..

A Question Asked in an IQ Test:
If u r Married to One of The Twin Sisters
How Would You Recognize Your Wife?
The Brilliant Answer Came:
Why Should I ?