Arguents

In every relationship, no matter how much you love each other, sometimes you do get into a disagreement and have bitter arguments. These arguments though seem quite logical and justified at that particular moment but do end up making you and your partner feeling bitter and hurtful. Therefore you have to take care that your arguments do not spoil and harm your relationship. The next time you feel an argument starting to form keep in mind the following points to handle such a situation. These argument guidelines will help you deal with the problem that you are facing without making you feel bitter and hurtful.

• Don’t talk if you’re too emotional about the situation. Things you say in the heat of the moment have a way of leaving a damaging mark on your relationship. Instead of lashing out while you’re still emotional, go out and take a 10 to 20 minute walk. Getting away from the situation will help you cool off and gain a much-needed new perspective.
• Give your partner enough space to voice his or her concerns. Listening is also important to understand the situation. Thus listen to what he has to say coz that doesn’t mean that you are agreeing to what he says.
• Make an extra effort to really understand what you partner is trying to say. In the heat of the moment you think that you know what he has to say and that whatever it is he is wrong. But that might not be the real state. You could also be wrong. Thus try to understand him and this will really help you end the argument far more quickly.
• Don’t say something you’ll regret later. Always consider your relationship like a glass. It is sturdy, tough, beautiful and clear when taken care of, but if it is mistreated or mishandled it can end up scratched, cracked or even broken. Take care in choosing the words you say when you are in the heat of the moment.
• Leave the past where it belongs…in the past. It is a natural tendency to want to compare current situations to other situations that may have occurred in the past. If you dwell on past occurrences, you’ll never find a solution for the future. By bringing up everything you don’t like about him or what he has done, it can emotionally push your partner away from you. Thus don’t dig up the past issues and keep your disagreements about the problem you are actually dealing with at this time.
• Learn to compromise. If you can learn to compromise, you’ll find yourself in fewer disagreements. If you don’t like something, then agree with your partner to find some middle ground. This also applies the other way. Be willing to come up with alternative solutions for things your partner doesn’t like as well!
• Talk about the problem with open heart and finish it off. Let your partner know exactly when something upsets you and don’t let things build up until you explode. Certain times we just try to avoid the problems. It’s far too easy to run off and avoid your partner, or give them the silent treatment. Instead, make a commitment right now to each other to respect each other enough to work out the problem even if it takes all night. Remember never to go to bed angry.
• Find a solution to the problem together. Once you’ve both identified that there is a problem, and what the exact problem is, you need to come to a solution that benefits each other. To do this, each person should be responsible for coming up with a solution they feel will end the problem. Share your ideas and agree to a compromise, if needed, to the situation.
• Make your relationship with your partner your first concern when you are in the middle of a disagreement. This does not mean bend over backwards for them or compromise your integrity. Just keep in mind that the person you are arguing with is your best friend, lover and soul mate. If you both keep that at the forefront of your mind in an argument you will never end up hurting each other.