Quiz - go back to your ex or not ?

Take the following quiz to find out if getting back with your past fling is a good step to take or not...

 In the relationship circuit, breakups, patch ups and rebounds are not quaint. In fact, it's but common. Are you a part of the bandwagon where, post a breakup, you think you still can give the bond with that person a try? If you are unsure as to whether your ex should not just be a thing of the past, and wondering if a second chance is what the relationship deserves, here's a list of questions you must answer before taking the plunge.

1. Have you cheated while you were with your ex-partner or vice versa?
 A. Yes! My partner did cheat on me. And that's what hurt me most.
 B. No. We put an end to our relationship because it wasn't working. None of us cheated on either.

2. Are you okay with how the relationship ended, and did both parties attain closure?
 A. No. We have never spoken about how/why/when we decided to end the relationship.
 B. Yes! We discussed breaking up and this was mutual.

3. How awkward was it post the breakup?
 A. Extremely awkward actually... being civil while at a radius away to each other was difficult.
 B. We are and have always been good friends, and thankfully that remains constant.

4. What is the major reason you think you want to get back to this ex?
 A. I am lonely, bored, need some entertainment in life. And being single sucks!
 B. We were great together...and I miss the times we had. I wish I could unwind time spent with him/her?

5. Tell your friends/family you are getting back to your ex. How do you think would they react?
 A. I think they'd say, "What? Are you kidding me! After all that he/she put you through? Don't do this."
 B. They would be extremely happy. Everyone felt we made an awesome couple. I think that is true.
If most of your answers are:
 A. You should know this isn't a wise decision. Getting back to your ex just because you are bored in life is the perfect recipe for disaster. You and your ex are zero compatible, and well, it's high time you get over him/her. Move on if you want to be happy.
 B. Your ex and you are meant to be, and we feel sorry that you both had to go through a breakup. We suggest you take it slow nonetheless. We understand a lot of people will be happy that you both get together, and so will you, but make sure you don't rush into the decision.

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Things to Consider Before a Divorce

According to YourTango.com there are some questions, which you may ask yourself before you leave to be with your soul-mate and have the breath-stopping romantic life you’ve been having in secret during your affair, Huffington Post reported.

The publication reported that if you are in the throes of infatuation and you think that no one has ever made you feel this way before, then you need to see the relationship realistically. You should not forget that your lover knows you’re married and is complicit in the lying that having an affair requires.

Most affairs are conducted in secret, where it’s easy for the pair to be on their best behaviour for the limited time they get to spend together. But, experts have warned that once the affair sees the light of day, it becomes part of the real world.

It is important to question yourself if ‘you are being objective about your marriage?’ It’s easy to find the negative side of your marriage, but finding the positive is also important and you have to be willing to see it.

If you only see your spouse’s failings, you should also be honest and genuine about your contributions to your marriage. You should look at what led you to pick the option of having an affair in order to address the problems in marriage. This will reveal the role you play in the success of your relationships.

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How to sex up your busy lives

If you are someone who comes home early from work only to continue working from home or takes a day off from work purely for social engagements, then this you've reached the right place.

For modern day couples, where weekends only mean socialising or wrapping up household tasks, love making tends to take a back seat in their to-do list. So, today we thought of telling you how you can sex up your busy lives. Here are our top 5 tips to master the art of lovemaking and let the sparks fly...And did we mention that it's great for your health too?

Keep some time aside

Never treat sex as a burden. The key lies not in thinking about ways to deny it to your partner, but to think of ways how you can enthusiastically boost your sex life. It should be an active de-stressor in your life. After all who would mind a good sex life? Not you for sure! Talk your partner into it if you are in the mood for it tonight. Let things like cleaning, making dinner, attending work calls all be attended well in time. Candle light dinners are a passe, we say dress down for it, take a shower together and let the passion unfold!

Have a gadget-free love making session!

Switch off all your gadgets and gizmos as they can be quite distracting. Let your bedroom be a gadget-free zone. This will help channelise your energy into the one task in your daily life that doesn't need a battery or power chord.

Don't attempt sex marathons

Harsh reality - You are a working professional, and you simply can't afford to miss your morning work meetings just because you indulged in a long sex marathon the previous night. Go for short but effective love making. Besides, these marathons are stuff of romantic movies. They aren't really possible for us mere mortals - especially not every now and then.

Let your touch speak

Do simple things at the right time to reveal to her/him that you are interested! Play with her while she is busy cooking, or send him an erotic message from your phone while he is busy finishing some last minute mails at night, snuggle with each other when you are watching television together.

Less is more!

Less is more, as far your clothes are concerned. Go for sexy night wear, rather than worn out clothes. Play the visual appeal game. And pay plenty of attention to which perfume or cologne you dab on before the action begins.

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When the devil takes over

   “I can’t arrange the funds!” Lucifer said curtly.

    “Maybe later?” His wife, Delilah, spoke softly, but firmly.

    “Can’t promise you anything.” His face disappeared somewhere in the smoke of the cigarette.

    “You loved me. I mattered to you. Once.” Her eyes had a covert, but profound temper.

    “Once, everything was different. You weren’t so materialistic, once.” He glared back at her.

    “Materialistic? All that we have ever had is a physical relationship – that’s all. Isn’t that materialistic?” Her voice was sorrowful.

    “And still you stick around. You know why? Because of the money that I had.”

Her husband replied spitefully as he bent down, and held the arms of the easy chair that she was sitting in.

She looked back at him as if she had nothing more to say. Her deep-set, black eyes firmly fixed upon the violent, distorted, once handsome visage of her husband. She could feel his tobacco-filled breath on her face. It had been a long time since she had felt him this close to her.

Lucifer turned around and left the bedroom without another word. She kept looking at the closed door for some time before closing her eyes. A few tears painfully fought their way out of the closed eyelids of her burning eyes.

I could hear everything. I could hear the sobs of my mother, the low humming sound of her heart beat, and even the thoughts and dreams that she had. It was strange. Her every dream was about my father. Her heartbeat said a name that I knew was of my father, but I could not really discern what it was.

I wished I could sleep at times, but sleep never came to my eyes. Sometimes it was the altercations between my parents, and sometimes, the weeping of my mother that kept me awake. And whenever I did get an opportunity to get some shut-eye, my mother would cringe in pain and move into unusual postures for hours and hours making it difficult for me to adjust.

Even at nights, when she would be sleeping peacefully, I could hear my father making odd sounds. Sounds that I wanted to make; sounds that only a weeping person could make.

    “What is it that’s gone wrong between us? Everything was so perfect. I loved you from the very depth of my heart and nothing will ever change that. Has it all changed because of the wealth that I lost? I must get an answer. This thought is killing me from within.” Lucifer wept beside his sleeping wife.

This is so weird!

Sometimes, I could feel my father’s hands stroking the strange wall around me, but only partially. I always wondered why he wept only in the nights and not during the day so that I could sleep peacefully. Once, I spoke to the strange, heavenly voice that I could hear in my head.

    “What is all this?”

    “Foolishness.”

The reply was less than satisfactory, but I did not probe further as I was soon to find out myself.

I wondered about that for a long time though, and the more I thought of it, the more it made sense. The next time when my parents argued, I felt a bit agitated.

Why can’t we manage in a little less? And why can’t you two let each other know about your feelings?

Thankfully, this confusion did not last for a very long time. One morning I heard a loud cry and then everything turned upside down. The thud was followed by the sound of rushing footsteps and I felt my mother’s body being lifted.

The next thing I remember was the nurse speaking to my parents.

    “He is beautiful Mr and Mrs Jones.”

And there they were, holding me together, smiling, despite the grief on their faces – smiling. They were beautiful people who had turned into Lucifer and Delilah due to foolishness just like the voice had said.

Well, I had to set that right.

I tried to lift my father’s finger and pull it between my mother’s fingers. It was heavy. But I tried again; failed; repeated my effort; failed again.

I think he understood. He held my mother’s hand and said something to her that made her turn red. I did not completely understand why that happened, but the smile on her face depicted that now everything was going to be just perfect.

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What is love?

Love is want. Love is need.

Love is impossibly imperfect.

Love always pays the bills on time but forgets your anniversary. It gets you frozen yogurt on the way home but leaves it in the car. It refuses to change the baby’s diaper but spends hours rocking the baby to sleep. It doesn’t write you poems or give romantic speeches but when you’re sad, it suddenly says that one right thing. It rarely thinks to buy you flowers but always thinks to plug your phone into the charger at night.

Love tries.

Love is forgiving. Love lets you get away with a lot. It grants forgiveness before you ask, but oftentimes makes you say sorry anyways, because it’s good for you to be humble. Love knows it will hurt you too. Love fails, time and again, but believes every next minute is a new chance to get it right.

Love is forgetful. It forgets old words and old wounds. And even when it remembers, it also remembers to stay kind. Love has the worst fight of your life with you and then, right after, shares a cold coffee and splits a plate of chaat. It will leave the last gol guppa for you.

Love understands your weaknesses. It doesn’t mock that you are scared of driving on highways or you get cranky if you’re hungry. It knows you have to drink your tea really, really hot. It will expect you will complain about your burnt tongue later. Love will be patient as you cut the tags off every shirt you wear because they scratch your neck unbearably. It will be quiet when you don’t feel like talking. It will laugh uproariously at your lame jokes during a party to save you from embarrassment. Love is loyal.

Love is your cheerleader. It believes in you. It goes along with your crazy ideas of writing a book, becoming a chef, launching an art business and tries its best to help you achieve your visions. It will edit poorly written first chapters, eat inedible crème brûlée and gasp amazedly at your blobs of paint on canvas. It doesn’t hold it against you when you fail. It encourages you. But because, you need it sometimes, it will tell you to stop when you are being insufferable and cut short your pity party.

Love changes perceptions of beauty. Love is fond of love handles and stretch marks. Love strokes your grey hair and remarks how distinguished it makes you look. Love sings, “I like big butts and I cannot lie” to your widening derriere. It knows that random chin hair become familiar friends, wrinkles and crow feet testaments to a life lived together. Love teaches you to find the ordinary, extraordinary.

Love is not a substitute for reality nor does it ask you to live in a more fantastic version of it because love lives real life. And in real life, love knows, there are good days and bad days. And a whole slew of so-so ones. Love gets through all of them, sometimes with style and pizzazz, other times with angst and bitterness. But it gets through.

Love flips your idea of humanity upside down. You think you know people and then you see what they will do for love’s sake, how far they will stretch the limits of themselves to care for the one they love and it makes you swallow, hard. Love will make you witness divinity.

Love is fluid. It changes with time in its expression and manifestation. It will be a spark, a raging fire, of flutters in your gut one day. Years later, it will be a steady burning ember, a sense of stability as solid as a rock and all flutters can usually be attributed to indigestion. Love will bring you Hajmola before you ask.

Love doesn’t always make you happy. But it makes you better. Happy too, but also unhappy. Because love knows that its central function in your life is to help you grow. Growth hurts.  Every day, love changes you to become a version of yourself you didn’t know existed. Expanded. Stretched somehow.

Love doesn’t ‘break’ your heart. It splits it open, so that more of what you need can enter.

Love is a choice. You make that choice every single day, every single minute.

Love is sacrifice, compromise, tolerance and a whole bunch of other scary words. It wants to leave you sometimes but it always remains. It wants to kill you sometimes but then imagines the subsequent loneliness. It turns away from you only to turn back again. It buries itself into the very core of you, so you don’t know where it begins or ends.

Love is a paradox. It is awkward and graceful. It is forced and natural, kind of terrible and absolutely hilarious. It is restful. It is wild. It is hurtful and healing. It is gentle and tough. It is confusion and clarity. It strengthens you and makes you vulnerable. It ties you down and helps you fly. It is as rare as a pearl and as common as breath.

Love is fierce. It is very often decidedly mundane, mind numbingly ordinary and easy to overlook, but still, if you know how to look at it, it’s really quite astonishing.

Love is beautiful, it is necessary, and if you allow it, instinctual, but it is never what you think it will be.

It is always much, much more.

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Story of husbnad love to wife

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.
I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments…

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6 Ways to get a stronger erection

Have you ever felt ashamed of not satisfying your partner because of erection problems?

As you grow older you'll find it a little difficult to get a strong erection and satisfy your partner in bed. A weak erection can strain your sexual relationship, and hurt your pride as well, to say the least. So, it is always necessary to maintain a healthy lifestyle for a fully satisfying sex life.

Remember, a strong and hard erection is something women crave most for while you gear up for some action between the sheets.

We bring you six ways to get a harder erection.

1. Eat well, keep it hard:

Simple changes in your diet can increase your libido and give you a harder erection. Foods like bananas, eggs, nuts, figs, chillies, onions, and wine can increase your sexual prowess. Word of caution: Steer clear of junk food.

2. Your penis needs exercise:

Healthy men are always sexually active. Exercise is one of the best ways to increase your sex drive and sexual potency. It reduces stress which is an erection-killer, and helps enhance testosterone production in the body. Kegel exercises are a perfect workout for the penis.

3. Avoid smoking or drinking alcohol:

You must have heard this a million times, smoking and drinking can really affect your sexual life. Smoking decreases your blood circulation, and results in less lung capacity. It can impact your ability to get and maintain an erection. And alcohol can numb the body and lead to temporary erectile dysfunction.

4. Don't masturbate too often: 

Save something for a real sex. Excessive masturbation can decrease your sexual appetite. Continual erections and ejaculations may lead to weaker erection the next day. So, control the urge!

5. Know the right sex positions: 

Always warm up with oral sex. Sexual positions like missionary and doggy style allow more blood flow, leading to a stronger and harder erection. And don't ever let her ride you first!

6. Throw away those tight undergarments: 

Avoid wearing tight, or any, undergarments, for that matter, while sleeping. It restricts blood flow to the penile tissues which in turn can affect erection strength. Always go for loose, airy underwear.

Simply stop worrying about weak erections and lead a healthy sex life.

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What makes you financially unfaithful

Yes you are, if you have ever hidden a purchase from your partner or stored away some cash secretly...

Financially 'cheating' your spouse or partner is something that is and has been prevalent and couples indulge in it sometimes without even knowing that it amounts to 'cheating'. A man goes out with his gang of buddies and they spend a few thousands at a resto-bar over drinks and dinner. He knows his wife will probably not like it and may throw a tantrum over the unwarranted expenses. So, he simply avoids telling her about it. In another instance a woman who knows her husband would probably question her about why she was spending so much on her salon visits, decides to keep mum about her beauty parlour bills. This in its mildest forms amounts to financial infidelity.

Dr Kersi Chavda, psychiatrist and immediate past president of Bombay Psychiatric Society says, "Sometimes, a person cannot control his/her shopping or spending impulses and then to avoid a fracas at home over it all, lies. This is done in order to maintain peace at home." He maintains that when it is about a simple manicure then it is not such a big thing.

"However," he adds, "when this involves an enormous amount of money then it can be a problem. A person I know did not reveal his credit card expenses to his partner. He had to finally sell off his house to pay off his debts and his family was devastated."

The money secrets that partners keep from their significant others, takes many forms — ranging from harmless and idiosyncratic, to hurtful and destructive. Most partners have indulged in it at some point or the other. The sad part about monetary cheating is that, very often, it is so subtle that people don't know they're engaging in it, yet it can be just as devastating as an affair when it is finally out in the open.

Sometimes, this kind of monetary cheating can be well intentioned. Somya Mohanty, a 31-year-old human resource executive says, "I have secretly saved money to surprise my husband. I know he always spends too much and that is the reason I have not told him about this extra cash that I have stowed away." The reason for the monetary cheating here, may not be a bad one but it still is cheating, though a mild form. This kind of behaviour may lead to mistrust in the partner later and the overall health of the relationship may suffer because of this say experts.

Lying to your partner about the money you are spending may undermine the trust in the relationship and may also rob you of the kind of intimacy you share with your better half. It is important for couples to keep in mind that if they are feeling guilty of something then there is infidelity of some kind involved. Communication that is open and honest will help build and then later nurture a relationship. Doubts and suspicions take root and grow when there is secret spending and hidden account balances.

The bottom line definitely is that however small the topic might be, it is important to share and discuss everything with your partner, if you want a healthy and happy relationship.

Effects of financial infidelity

- You fail to achieve greater intimacy because you stop sharing with each other how you spend your money.
- You do not develop a respect for the difference in each others personalities.
- You are robbed of a safe way to work through your differences in perspective.
- You may lose out on a big topic of discussion- finance — that sometimes helps to bind couples together.

Financial Infidelity: Reasons cited by couples

- He/she never makes me feel that I am entitled to buy things for myself or spend on myself.
- We rarely share each and every thing with each other, so I do not find any reason to tell him/her everything about where and on what I spend.
- I do not trust my partner and I am sure he/she does not trust me either.
- We just cannot seem to solve our problems regarding money matters.
- Because I do not think that that this amounts to cheating.

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Reasons why kissing is great for you

After reading these benefits, you'll no more feel the need to look for excuses to kiss your loved one.

Helps bonding

All of us know that locking lips boosts bonding in a couple. When one kisses, one produces the hormone oxytocin which causes to bond.

Enhances sexual pleasure

Yes, sex does good benefit to your heart as well as your self-esteem and kissing is one of the major component of sex and foreplay. Kissing gives a more pleasurable experience.

Spit treats illnesses

Swapping spit is a great way to ward off viruses especially when kissing is followed by sex. Moreover, kissing also helps build immunity - people who have sex often have greater immunity to fight health issues.

Makes one happy

Kissing releases endophins and endorphins make you happy.If you are depressed, kissing seems to be a better medication than going to a psychologist or popping pills.

Reduces pain

During a heated kissing session, your body releases adrenaline which is said to reduce the feeling of pain. Try pairing locking lips with physical intimacy when you have a headache and see whether it works wonders on your ache.

Lowers stress

If you feel drained and exhausted at the end of the day, blame it on cortisol which is the stress hormone. Kissing lowers cortisol levels and boosts our immune system, endocrine system and brain health. So to de-stress, just steal a kiss your partner and you'll definitely feel better.

Burns calories

Kissing may not burn as many calories as running on a treadmill does but it does pump up your metabolism to about twice its usual rate. So if you're planning to skip gym for a make-out session with your partner, you can do it without feeling guilty. Just make up for the gym session through some energy-boosting kisses. Moreover, kissing also workout out your face and enhances your youthful appearance by tightening your muscles.

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Why do women feel guilty?

Do you find yourself burying your head in shame each time you fail to be a perfect hostess, or when you say no? Here's how to stop whipping yourself

Are you sick of reading about how an amazing lettuce-only diet will make you happier, or how decluttering your home could transform your sex life? You're not the only one. After all, you have enough to feel guilty about without worrying about your love handles or your kids' confidence. According to a recent study, 96 per cent of women feel guilty at least once a day. This can have a destructive effect on our health, even factoring in the onset of depression. Here's how to cancel guilt trips.

No time for kids

Since most mothers now go out to work, women are expected to balance a happy home life with the demands of a job. But a startling majority feels like they haven't got the balance right. If you're at work worrying about the children, work isn't getting the best out of you and the kids aren't getting anything. Anxiety is rehearsing for tomorrow and reliving the past — stay in the here and now. When you're at work, be 100 per cent at work and when you're with your children, be 100 per cent with them. That way everyone benefits.

Not losing extra kilos

Women are so demoralised from being bombarded with images of "perfect" models that their default mode for shape and size tends to be set at "dissatisfaction". More than 70 per cent report being on a diet at any one time, regardless of whether they are actually overweight or not. Choose to change your situation and make time to go to the gym. If you choose not to do that, then view the situation differently — recognise it is your choice and no one else is to blame. But don't stay in the same situation and view it with horror. That wastes energy.

Spulrging on yourself

Going on a shopping spree may be fun at the time, but the after effects can send some into a spiral of self-loathing and guilt. A survey found that 80 per cent of women felt bad about splashing their cash on themselves just hours after they had finished shopping; 10 per cent felt so crippled by remorse that they refused to disclose their purchases to their partner. But as long as it's not eating into important payments, then spending money on yourself is fair enough.

Women don't see making themselves feel better as a gain for everyone. But if you rationalise your reasons for spending money on a spa break because you need the downtime, then you have no reason to feel guilty.

Not making him happy

Like the balance needed to maintain a happy home and work life, there is often effort needed to keep a relationship on track. But if you're feeling stretched, your partner is likely to be the first to suffer from your lack of attention and this causes stress and guilt. If you feel guilty that you're not doing enough to make your loved one happy, sit down and look at your timetables and agree on how you to make more time for each other. Discuss it and come up with a change in your behaviour that will make you both happier.

Always late

Sometimes situations arise which make us late, no matter how prepared we are. Seeing time as a gift will enable you to make the best out of the situation and prevent panic. You can either be late and flustered or late and collected. Sitting on a train and getting aggravated is a waste of energy. It's not the end of the world; it's a problem to be solved. Stay in the here and now, and ask yourself how you can use the moment? Jot a list, or call your mother.

Imperfect hosting

Many women would like to host the perfect dinner party, but they often set high standards. The desire for social excellence derives from the need to be perfect all the time. Host your party and be a bad hostess. The moment you accept you can do it, but do it badly, it takes the pressure off. Women give themselves a lot of 'should, oughts and musts', but these don't exist — everyone has a different perception, so host a dinner, but do it your way.

Forgetting birthdays

Though men might forget a birthday and shrug it off, women are more likely to beat themselves up for days for such minor oversights. Go easy on yourself, but also, go easy on others who forget.

It's not deliberate. When people aren't putting you first, you must see it from their point of view and if we could be more generous then we wouldn't feel so guilty. If you feel guilty, tell yourself you know you're doing your best, apologise and make clear it wasn't deliberate.

Taking some 'me' time

Living up to the 'superwoman' image can lead to terrible feelings of guilt over getting your hair done. But doing nothing is very important in allowing women to physically and mentally recharge. But it is very difficult to allow yourself to do it. Tell people the truth. That you need a break because you are at your limit — then accept that the world will not fall apart without you.

Letting your folks down

Women can inherit guilt through generations — of not doing enough for their elders, not doing it right or 'failing' their parents. Learn to accept that your parents will love and judge you no matter what. Do try and be sensitive but if you go your own way and you are successful and happy, then if they are decent human beings, they'll be happy for you.

Saying 'no'

Saying 'no' is hard because women don't want to be seen as the baddie and because they are taught to put others first. Give yourself time to think about each request, so have ready a stalling tactic. If you really don't want to do what they ask, give options to help solve their problem — brainstorm alternatives.

However, if you've explained why you can't do something and they can't see it from your point of view, then accept that they're being unreasonably selfish and taking advantage of your goodwill.

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